Wedding Gifts

Wedding gift lists are the evolution of every child’s dream – write down anything you want and it shall be yours. Well, it may not be quite that simple, but you get the idea…

You can receive the gifts you’ve always wanted and needed, but there are a certain things you should bear in mind when you start to think about your wedding gift list.

It has become the archetypal thing nowadays to hold a wedding gift list with a department store. It makes life easier for your guests – buying online from a centralised list means they can be sorted within a few clicks. And as with all wedding gift lists, they don’t have to worry about what you want and whether anyone else will get you the same thing. The days of receiving three toasters and ten vases are long gone.

Once you’ve established that you are going to have a wedding gift list and where you are going to register it, you need to think about how to let everyone know that such a thing exists. Ideally you don’t just want to say: “Here’s our list, this is what we want.” A little bit of politeness goes a long way, and your guests will appreciate that. The awkward bit

So how do you let these people know there is a wedding gift list without seeming too obvious? If no one knows about your wedding gift list you run a very real risk of clambering over piles of unused household items for the first few years of your marriage.

You can mention it in the wedding invitation if you feel confident you won’t put people off. But a little bit of word of mouth, and/or being able to email a few people and refer them to your wedding gift list subtly will be ideal.

Another problem is convincing your guests that all the items on your wedding gift are personal even though they are chose from a list. Yes, a lot of people will think that they shouldn’t get you anything from the list and would much rather get you something more personal. And then some of those will still go and get you a sandwich toaster that will sit in a box in the cupboard under the stairs for five years before being sold on ebay. So part of your work will be making them aware that everything on your wedding gift list has been well thought out and will be greatly appreciated. Questions to ask

Having said all that, it is of course fair to say that a traditional wedding gift list does not always sit well with everyone. There are important points the bride and groom (and mothers-in-law) must consider:

• Does you already have a house full of domestic consumer durables? Do you need more dinner plates and more saucepans?

• Are the items on there affordable?

• Can the wedding gift list be accessed on the internet?

• Do all your guests have access to the web?

• Bearing in mind the varying personalities of the guests, might some find a list too restrictive? Other options

In unusual circumstances, such as the couple being particularly wealthy, perhaps suggestions to donate to a charity would be more appropriate, particularly if there is an ‘absent friend’ or family member, who can be remembered this way.

There is a plethora of alternatives and, over time, we will endeavour to tell you about them all, but a bit of research and digging online from your part can throw up some fascinating ideas. You can even get people contributing to your honeymoon instead of buying you a wedding gift – nothing is impossible!

In any case, remember that the appropriate and considered decisions for your wedding gift list are likely to be the best ones – good luck!